Pataniscas Satânicas

Pataniscas Satânicas
Mostrar mensagens com a etiqueta Media. Mostrar todas as mensagens
Mostrar mensagens com a etiqueta Media. Mostrar todas as mensagens

terça-feira, 10 de novembro de 2015

Sobre Arte

A definição de é que mais gosto de Arte é aquela que diz que a Arte é algo que comunica uma emoção específica.

O objectivo da arte é criar uma emoção específica na pessoa que a experiencia. Essa emoção será tanto mais específica ou claramente predeterminada quanto melhor for o artista.
Pode ser uma emoção simples e directa, como raiva ou amor transmitidas por uma pintura poderosa, pode ser algo tão complexo como a sequência específica de emoções de excitação, antecipação, suspense, desilusão, medo que estão presentes na narrativa de um livro ou de um filme, ou até numa composição musical.

O meio artístico é importante, a técnica artística também, e podem ser analisados até ao fim dos tempos, mas o que mais importa e o que define a arte é esse produto final da emoção no espectador.

De acordo com esta lógica, a mais flagrante marca de falhanço numa peça de arte é a indiferença do espectador perante a mesma.

Quando alguém olha para um objecto de arte e fica simplesmente a pensar "Meh", então algo falhou. Também pode acontecer que o espectador seja o errado para aquela arte específica, ou que não tenha as suas sensibilidades desenvolvidas.

A arte acompanha-nos desde sempre. A apreciação estética e artística de objectos já existia em pequenas conchas de caracol esculpidas em cavernas sul-africanas há 75 000 anos, e recipientes provavelmente usados para conter tintas com 100 000 anos foram encontrados.


Na Babilónia, um dos berços da civilização, há 4300 anos, eles andavam a imaginar e a esculpir esfinges, que punham à entrada dos templos!
Imaginem, por momentos, que tipo de cultura é que evolui ao ponto de inventar uma coisa tão específica como uma criatura meio leão, meio águia, meio humano, que é inescrutavelmente inteligente e que se diverte a inventar adivinhas para testar as pessoas, e as que não acertarem são comidas.


É inegável o impacto emocional, inescapável e incontornável da Nona Sinfonia do Beethoven


Ou esse génio, brilhante, divinamente inspirado, que foi o Bach, que, lendariamente, compôs a Oferenda Musical de improviso, para impressionar o imperador, e que é quase inatingível na sua complexidade e beleza.


Recentemente, em 2008, um artista achou que a melhor obra de arte que podia fazer era encontrar capas de jornal do New York Post que tivessem a cara do Saddam Hussein, masturbar-se para cima delas, cobrindo-as com o seu esperma, e sobre as quais espalhou depois glitter colorido, criando um padrão interessante quando secasse.
Sim, isto aconteceu.


Inegavelmente é arte. Relutantemente.

Cria uma emoção específica. Pode ser uma emoção de confusão e nojo, mas não obstante, uma emoção. E suficientemente forte para eu não me esquecer disto, anos depois de ter sabido que existia. É essa a sua medida de sucesso.


Recentemente estava no Barreiro (God knows why...) e deparei-me com arte.

Numa parede, em letras grandes, escritas com uma lata de spray branco, e demonstrando alguma displicência técnica, favorecendo um estilo informal, estava o seguinte:

"Quero cona branca"

Foi uma frase que me impressionou. Não só pela sua coragem despudorada, mas pela profundidade da sua mensagem. 

É a mensagem de alguém que sabe o que quer e não tem medo de o anunciar ao mundo! 

Mensagem essa, aliás, da qual eu nem discordo, estritamente falando. A um nível muito básico, eu e esta pessoa queremos a mesma coisa. 

Depois de ter feito estas reflexões todas e sentido estas emoções todas (entre as quais a repulsa era a mais importante) decidi sair rapidamente daquele bairro, e nem sequer foi só por estar no Barreiro.

Eu não fiquei indiferente àquele fulgurante exemplo de escrita urbana. Pelo contrário, marcou-me de uma forma forte, tendo elicitado um conjunto de emoções específicas que eu não costumo sentir. 
Não foram necessariamente emoções agradáveis! Mas foram fortes o suficiente para eu estar a escrever sobre elas. 

É arte, de acordo com todos os preceitos que já estive onanisticamente a explanar.

Portanto façam sempre um esforço por procurar a arte escondida onde menos a esperam, mesmo que estejam no Barreiro.
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domingo, 21 de junho de 2015

I am a Thoughtful Guy




Finalmente aconteceu.
Encontrei um vídeo na internet que me retrata perfeitamente.
Isto sou eu!

Dos brilhantes Rhett & Link.
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quarta-feira, 4 de março de 2015

Skyrim - a Night to Remember

So let me talk about Skyrim.

I think there's really no doubt in anyone's mind that Skyrim is a very good game.
This is how i came to the same conclusion.



I've been playing Skyrim on and off for the past 2 years and the first two characters i did were very planned from the beginning. I first made a straight rogue, all sneakyness and stabby-happy-action, then i built a warmage, casting spells and brandishing a mace. Both times i was actively trying to achieve an ideal character, something i had thought out in my mind before starting, and i was strictly following the main quest, while doing all side-quests to maximize experience gain.

Then i had to study for exams and stopped playing anything at all for a while. I only just started playing again about a month ago.

This time around, i didn't plan on anything. I just started playing again mostly because i remembered it being fun.
I thought i'd play it just for the sheer enjoyment of it, not force myself into a type, just follow whatever quests seemed interesting. I excused myself from any self-imposed pressures or long-term objectives. Since this was supposed to be laid back, i decided to invest in crafting, because Minecraft taught me that gathering resources to make gear can be a satisfying endeavour.



So i played around, i reached Whiterun, i slogged through the initial grinding of alchemy, smithing and enchanting, and did fetch-quests. It's surprisingly fast to level up smithing if you invest a bit of time into i, so i got it to level 30 in no time, and started forging better equipment.

By now i had the whole alchemy-smithing-enchanting-selling cycle down, and i was even turning a profit. I bought the house.
When i killed my third dragon, i was cruising. Then i accidentally stumbled onto what must be one of the most fascinating quests i have ever seen. I'm sure there are others, and in other games that i haven't played, but this just blew my mind.

It's called "A Night to Remember"

As i walked into the Bannered Mare Inn to sleep and get my "Well rested" bonus before smithing, i saw a character leaning against the bar that i hadn't seen before. I decided to just talk to him.

He introduced himself as Sam Guevenne, and challenged me to a drinking contest. He promised a staff if i won. I thought this might be like one of those mini-quests where you brawl a random drunken patron for a quick 50 gold pieces. I thought i just had to win the drinking game or something, and i'd get a unique staff.



But after the third drink, the screen suddenly goes black, and suddenly i realize i'm in full blown quest mode.
Surprisingly, as i wake up, i find that i am in a completely different place.


Apparently i'm in the Temple of Dibella, and the priestess thereof informs me that i stumbled in drunk and ranting and thrashed the place in the night. This immediately feels different from other quests, and i'm left wondering how this is going to develop.
She forces me to clean up and even apologise (i've killed dragons for christ's sake), and then gives me a list of meaningless items to gather to repair the staff. It is a fucking fetch-quest after all.
She also tells me that i should visit a guy in Rorikstead.

Since Rorikstead is halfway though to Whiterun i stop by just to fulfill the next mission marker. I meet a guy named Ennis who tells me that i was so drunk last night that i stole his prized goat and sold it to a friggin' giant. I wasn't expecting this, since most other quests are usually full of importance and take themselves very seriously. This is getting funny, and for the first time i genuinely can't tell where this is going
The giant isn't far away, so i decide to fight a giant. It's surprisingly difficult, surprisingly.


So i get the goat, and the guy is happy, and the trope about drunk parties and goats persists, until he tells me that i should go meet Ysolda in Whiterun.

Whiterun is where i was going anyway, so there's never an option of not meeting Ysolda almost as i entered. She asks for the money i owe her from buying a ring. An engagement ring. Because apparently i got engaged. While i was drunk.
How long was i drunk?
This quest has gone full Hangover on me, and i didn't even see it happening. I thought this was a fetch-quest and turned out into the most engaging quest i'd found so far.

Ysolda tells me that my bride is waiting for me in Witchmist Grove, where i fell in love with her, or so the story went. And i also need to get her the ring back, or pay 2000 gold pieces.



So i go to Witchmist Grove just to see what's there. I find one of the strangest creatures in Skyrim, a Hagraven, a woods/swamp witch that has the mutated body of a crow. They're creepy as fuck, and i my sense of strangeness/bizarre about this quest keeps on growing. So i ask for the ring and she gets mad that i'm not actually marrying her so i kill her. I bring back the ring to Ysolda, who tells me that i was getting married in a place called Morvunskar.

Right now i don't need any other reason to go other than i want to know how much crazier this can get.
Morvunskar turns out to be an abandoned gloomy stronghold, creepy even for the general standard of strongholds in Skyrim, and i'm already anticipating more shenanigans. Turns out to be filled with deadly Ice Wizards!
Doesn't hurt that i've kept up with the smithing and enchanting all the while, so now i'm starting to get some good gear.


At the end of the Stronghold i find a godamn interdimensional portal! An actual, inter-dimensional portal, into a place called Misty Meadow. So i giddily jump into the rabbit hole and come out in an amalgam of every description ever of the Fae, from Neil Gaiman, Marion Zimmer Bradly to Patrick Rothfuss.



I find at the end of the path a table where a banquet is going on and Sam Guevenne is standing there. He has menacing glowing red eyes, so i sense some mischief is afoot!
Obviously he transforms into his true form, which just so happens to escalate quickly to a Daedric Prince.
It is the godamn manifestation of one of the Evil Gods of Skyrim. Sanguine, the Demon Prince of debauchery and drunken revelry.
He's been toying with me all along. This started as a godamn mini-game, and ended as a wonderfully played out trope of God Messes With Mortal Hero.
He congratulates me essentially because i got out and saw the world and just acted out on a whim.



The game is straightforwardly rewarding me for just going with the flow and enjoying the game. The very attitude that drove me to start this playthrough and character in the first place led me to finding a quest that rewards that same attitude: mindless enjoymend and doing a quest just because it was curious and intriguing.

So now he gives me something called the Sanguine Rose Staff, which is a unique item you can only aquire through this quest, and which summons bad-ass Daedra! Yes, this staff calls up demons to beat stuff up. This is almost game-breakingly ahead of anything i own!

The way this quest was designed, from beginning to end, playing narratively with well-established tropes, and even making fun of them, made me walk from one end of the map to the other, see some beautiful sights, and transmitted so much of the feel of the wonderment of exploration, and the sheer fun you can have with this game.
I ended up with definetly the most creative and fun to play character i have ever planned, and i didn't even plan on it!



Now i love this, now i want to play even more of this.
I find that this quest in just one in a series of fifteen (15!!!!) quests, that explore all of the Daedric Gods and all have equally unique rewards! I'm going to explore the world and backstory of this world as i do these quests.

That this would even be a thing in a game like this. That among all of the dreary, grinding of fetch-quests, kind of repetive side-quest, and neutral commonness of the main-quest, such a specific and curious and challenging concept of a quest could show up is very impressive to me and makes me respect the developers so much more.

I am going to drop every other quest and just do these through to the end!
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sábado, 3 de janeiro de 2015

Cigarette Duet


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quarta-feira, 24 de dezembro de 2014

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

Na realidade a expressão original era "God Rest Ye Merry" no sentido de "Que Deus vos Deixe Felizes", e na canção o sentimento é desejado aos Gentlemen.
Não são os Gentlemen que são Merry.


Um dia destes tenho de fazer um post sobre os Jethro Tull. Ou dois. Ou Cinco.
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domingo, 30 de novembro de 2014

Cyberpunk

Cyberpunk is all about the notion of a worn future, that is so antithetical to the notion of hygiene and futurism of 2001 and the Jetsons.


Let's be clear on this: the Jetsons are laughable. No doubt about it. But they are also endearing. You can't help but like them and what they represent which is a highly idealized form of perfect American Dream.

Even 2001 represents a departure from the Jetsons in that it presents you with a much colder and uncaring future and technology. The robotic housemaid in the Jetsons suddenly becomes a menacing deep red dot on a wall that speaks in a monotone.



The Jetsons represent all of our best hopes for the future, they are how we wish things would happen.
And that is why we are drawn to stuff like Cyberpunk or post-apocalyptia.
Because we see in them the leavings of this idyllic future. They are the cold hard mirrors of our hopes and dreams.

And we can't help but laugh and be cynical about the Jetsons, because we've all grown up and became just a bit more disillusioned. Enough to know that the Jetsons will never happen.
But whenever we see the old Coca-Cola ads in giant blimps in Bladerunner or the Nuka-Cola ads in billboards on destroyed highways in Fallout 3, we can't help but feel just a bit heartwarmed. Because those are the reminders of what could have been.




Things wouldn't feel quite as desolate or hopeless or bleak if the cozy outdated songs of the twenties weren't playing over the nuclear wasteland or the urban sprawl.
They are an essential part of it. Meaning that the Jetsons, and everything about the idea of them, need to have been a possibility that never happened, so that Cyberpunk and post-apocalyptia can work fully.
If you try to build Cyberpunk or post-apocalyptia without these elements of a could-have-been future that somehow became corrupted, you're not doing it right.

And in the end, Cyberpunk and post-apocalyptia come from, and represent, our fears about the future. They are, in fact, our way of dealing with these fears and face them. To make them manageable.
They are also a way to remind those in charge, and ourselves, that things can go sour very quickly.


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sábado, 15 de novembro de 2014



I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute
.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
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sábado, 25 de outubro de 2014

Pikachu + acid = Progressive Rock


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domingo, 28 de setembro de 2014

Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well!

It funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you see them on a screen



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terça-feira, 2 de setembro de 2014

Vai dar Banho ao Cão

Porque é que vocês se andarem a encharcar voluntariamente, e vestidos, ajuda os doentes com esclerose lateral amiotrófica?

Qual é a relação entre as duas coisas?

Porque é que gastar 50 litros de água, e apanhar uma pneumonia ajuda os outros doentes? É uma mostra de solidariedade? É promessa que vão ocupar a cama de hospital ao lado do desgraçado com esclerose lateral? É por serem famosos? E o parvalhão do meu vizinho, para que é que eu ando no facebook, a ver o video dele a tomar banhos gelados?
É capaz de ajudar num sentido: a mulher dele não quer nada com ele há algum tempo, e dizem que os banhos gelados acabam com o tesão de mijo à velocidade da luz. (peço desculpa pela falta de nível)

Se eu fosse famoso e quisesse ajudar, dava era um banho a um doente com esclerose lateral, que o desgraçado não se consegue mexer, quanto mais esfregar as costas. Ou então pagava a uma enfermeira atraente para lhe dar um banho de esponja.
Isso é que ajuda um gajo! Perguntem aos doentes com esclerose lateral!

Eu proponho o desafio de tirar macacos do nariz e colá-los nas sobrancelhas, para ajudar os doentes com queda de cabelo. Nomeio o Ronaldo, o Ministro da Saúde, e uma gaja boa que vi numa novela ontem, que agora não me recordo do nome. Força gaja boa!

Ursos.
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