Porcos de Corrida

''You can't make a race horse out of a pig...

No. But you can make a race pig.''

-Steinbeck

She had thick, dark, slightly curled hair. It framed perfectly her diamond shaped face. And you could guess an intelligence shining in her eye, confirmed by a half smile, just above mona lisa, and just below sarcasm. A smile of understanding. Her likely natural state, judging by the light smile lines, drawn like joy on her face. It looked like the stereotype for swan neck had been invented to describe her.

This might be the absolute truth. Or maybe the music, the poor lighting in the night club, the third gin and tonic and my loneliness, for some reason all kicked in at once. Well, for the desired effect, is of little importance.

She notices me, staring, but her expression remains unchanged. Perhaps a nanosecond blink of the eyes, a second of a shy look at the floor....  Perhaps i want my staring to have some impact on her.... Perhaps she notices the stare of the guy next to me.
Perhaps i'm overanalyzing it. This is not my habitat. I've drowned in this waters many times, choked by the ecstasy in the tides of the crowd, turned into a storm by the violent rising metal beat of the bass.
The flashes of lighting, the thunder in the 'music', the drunken tidal waves of the sweaty, blurry, human mass, transform the scenery in a frame-by-frame utter bedlam.

She looks like a tropical island in the midst of this, with the bright shine in her eyes, and the little umbrella in her orange sunrise drink.

I'm old... Lately my ego has been increasingly rejection resistant. I intentionally mistake that for confidence. For the desired effect, it is of little importance.

I move.

I can't dance, I don't know any good pick up lines. I can't adjust my voice to scream at someone's ear, above the roar of the 'music', and below tympanic rupture volume. I can't read the frame-by-frame club body language. I don't know what i'm going to say.

My odds dismay even the most optimistic gambler. But i move. I'll run the track, behind everybody, if need be.

Because i'm a race pig.